Self-Inflicted Insomnia

My name is- Charlaine.
Ive. Got. Problems.
One.
I cant sleep- before 6am.
It is almost IMPOSSIBLE.
When i do, its a MIRACLE.

I spend my time watching videos when i cant sleep.
Sometimes chat on MSN, Skype or Facebook till i fall asleep.
Cant really Facebook much though.
Big boss is monitoring.
Ive already got a warning about sleeping after 6 in the morning.

But sometimes i just lay in bed thinking.
"About what" you ask?
Im not too sure myself.
Sometimes its all my hopes and dreams.
Sometimes it will be flashback of my past.
Sometimes it will be the present which i take for granted.
But most of the time it would be "my friends".



I cant seem to close my eyes and fall asleep.
Two.
Each time i do, i would hear a loud bang.
It scares me.
I get scared easily.
"Wimp" you say?
I agree.

I dont know whats wrong with me.
I cant seem to sleep.
When i do, it is a miracle.
But most of the time.
I wake up crying.
Out of fear.
From a nightmare.

Is this what insomnia really like?
IS IT?! IS IT!?
I hate it.
It hurts me inside.
Keeps my body clock crying.
Hoping i would readjust it.

When i finally fall asleep.
After 6am.
I would sleep for only 6 hours.
And then i would rise.
Like A TOWER A TOWER!!
Slowly.
Taking my own sweet time.
Yawning.
Thanking my body clock.




Then back to bed it is.
Three.
I cant sleep in the dark.
But i never have any lights turned on.
Thats because if i do.
I would not be able to sleep as well.
So curtains open.



Makes me look out.
And there i go.
Thinking.
"What now?" you ask.
About death ofcourse.

Sleep.
Rest.
Will this help?



One of my many unsolvable problems.

-Oh the overwhelming cuteness!-

"I am Strong because I am weak. I am Beautiful because I know my flaws. I am a Lover because I'm a fighter. I am fearless because I have been afraid. I am Wise because I have been foolish. And I can laugh becasue I have known sadness!"
__________________________________________________


Would you believe a picture, if it showed you wonders?



Would you listen to the thunder, if it told you secrets?



Would you look into the sun, if it showed you heaven?



Would you cry her a river, if she told you she was hurt?


Im sorry if you find it disturbing. I just enjoy writing. Whether it is a happy or an unhappy post. Whatever it is. Writing keeps me happy. Imagining myself as something im not keeps me happy. Oh btw that does not happen to me. =)

Oh who am i kidding. It does happen to me. But this is like SERIOUSLY EXAGGERATED. Haha.

Drama baby.


"I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever."